


Just Remember To Always Think Twice

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:55:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carter was clearly not okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Remember To Always Think Twice

The party moved outside once the sun set, and Jack was glad to leave the stuffy tents behind. 

They gathered around a series of low tables, all made from a single plank of wood that must have come from one of the huge trees that surrounded the village. He picked at the edge of the dark oily wood in front of him, loosening a piece of bark to reveal a lighter patch underneath. Carter poked him in the ribs with her elbow and he went back to pretending to pay attention. 

Two moons hung low and bright in the night sky, one silver and one gold. The alignment was something that only happened once in a generation--hence, the party. Jack was a big fan of astronomy and could appreciate the significance of the event. He just wasn’t a big fan of parties, and they’d been at it for hours. 

He killed some time staring at Carter while a fiery red liquid made its way around the table. It didn’t look safe to drink, but they filled their cups just the same. Daniel had stressed the importance of participation for hours after they’d arrived. Once all the glasses were filled, the locals lifted theirs to the moons before drinking with solemn faces and closed eyes. Daniel sipped cautiously at his glass. Teal’c drank his in one great gulp, and Carter shrugged her shoulders and did the same. 

Jack wasn’t sure if it was the alien food he’d eaten for dinner or the Indian food he’d eaten for lunch, but one sniff convinced him that his stomach wasn’t in the mood for this planet’s version of moonshine. He looked around the table and poured his drink on the ground when he realized nobody but Carter was paying any attention to him. 

It turned out to be a bad decision.

The drinks were the last formal event, and the rest of the night consisted of music, and mingling around the many fire pits dotting the field. The four of them stuck together until Daniel and Teal’c wandered off to join a group of locals. A group of local women, he’d realize later. Jack didn’t think much of it at the time. Daniel was just being Daniel, and Teal’c would keep an eye on him. 

He stayed on the sidelines with Carter because… Well, just because. They made their way up a small hill and Jack sat on the ground while Carter paced at his feet. She seemed uncharacteristically restless. 

He rubbed his back against the rough bark of the tree that was propping him up and watched the party through his feet. Carter was staring at the two moons like she’d never seen an alien sky. The moonlight made her hair glow and Jack wished he could see her eyes. He sighed and went back to scanning the party. Daniel was exactly where Jack had last seen him, but Teal’c had wandered off. Jack’s eyes hopped from fire to fire. Teal’c should have been easy to spot, but he couldn’t find him. 

He was about to comment on that when Carter grew tired of standing and sat down next to him. She looked over at him like she was surprised to see him. Jack forgot about Teal’c long enough for Carter to lean back against his chest. He tried to shift away because she was entirely too warm and her hair was right under his nose. He slid to his left but Carter just moved with him. “Carter?” He put all the what-the-fuck-are-you-doing he could into that single word. 

Carter tipped her head back and looked at him, content and confused. “Oh. Sorry, sir. You just looked… comfortable.” She shook her head and scooted to his side. Her shoulder was touching his, and what the hell had just happened. 

He was still trying to get over the smell of her hair when she put her hand on his knee. He should have jumped or pulled his leg away, but all he could do was nothing. Carter stared at her hand while it crept up his thigh. “I don’t know why I’m doing that,” she said.

Jack picked her hand up and gave it back to her. “Are you okay?” It was a stupid question because Carter was clearly not okay. 

She gave that some consideration before swinging her leg over and settling herself on his lap. “No,” she said. “I don’t think so.” 

She took his face in her hands, and Jack knew what was coming next. She leaned closer, and he just didn’t have it in him to stop her. He felt his heart pounding in his ears as he ran his hand up the back of her neck and into her hair. He felt her smile against his lips and his head fell back against the tree. It hurt just enough to improve his decision making skills. He pushed her back until her lips were at a safe distance. 

Carter took the hint and stood up. Jack followed and wondered how he’d ever be able to look at her again and not think of this moment. 

“I think we should go back to the tent,” she said.

That was one thing they could agree on. Probably for different reasons. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I think you’re right.”

They made it back to the tent without incident, but Carter started taking her clothes off before he could get her inside. Jack wanted to cry. 

“Carter-” She was staring at him when she dropped her t-shirt on the ground. Jack looked around, but they were alone in the clearing and the moons were so bright. Jesus. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Carter. You need to stop.”

She looked at him with wide eyes full of moonlight. “I can’t,” she said, and Jack watched helplessly as she slid her sports bra over her head. He’d thought about this moment a lot over the years. This was better and worse than anything he’d ever come up with. She was just so fucking beautiful in the pale light. But her eyes were all wrong, full of panic and practically pleading with him to fix this. Whatever the hell this was.

He steered her into the tent. It was a bad idea to be alone with her, but at least the light wasn’t as bright. If he could just get her zipped up in her sleeping bag, safe and contained, things might be okay. 

“Jack?” He turned to answer her and was horrified to discover that she’d gotten out of the rest of her clothes while he was messing with her sleeping bag. She pushed him on his back and climbed on top of him. He didn’t know what to do with his hands and he couldn’t think because she was pressing against him and sliding her hips forward. He grabbed her thighs to keep her still. 

“Please don’t do this.” On a normal day, Carter pushed the limits of his self-control more than he’d ever admit. Having Carter in his lap twice in one night was so far from normal Jack didn’t stand a chance.

She leaned forward and her breasts were far too close. “Don’t you want me?” 

That was an unfair question. He reached up and touched her cheek. “Yeah. Yeah, Carter. I do. That’s the problem.” 

She backed off a little and ran her hands over her eyes. “We can’t do this. Right?”

Jack tugged her shoulders and she settled warm and heavy against his chest. “No, Carter. We can’t.” He pulled her tight against him and closed his eyes. It was so fucking unfair.

“I really want to.” She moved her hand up to his cheek, into his hair and Jack kissed the top of her head while her fingers trailed over his ear. 

“I know,” he whispered into her hair. “Believe me, I know.”

“I think there was something in that drink.” She was getting sleepy. He could hear it in her voice. 

She slid to his side and he covered her with the sleeping bag. She stayed there with her hand on his chest, and he held her until she fell asleep. He stared at the shadows on the tent walls for a long time, running his hand down her spine and back up to her shoulders, mapping her skin with his fingertips. She stirred occasionally, whispering his name and gathering his t-shirt in her fist.

When her breathing evened out and her body finally relaxed against him, Jack slipped into a restless sleep. He dreamed of the moons and of Carter and all things he wanted but couldn’t have. He woke up once with a warm tingling sensation in his abdomen but it was only Carter with her hand up his shirt and her leg tossed over his.

*****

Carter was still asleep when he woke up. He managed to scoot out from under her without waking her. The evil alien drink must have been pretty potent because there was no way he should have made it out of the tent without waking her. Her clothes were still scattered around the camp site. Jack picked them up and placed them next to her in the tent. She shifted while he watched, rolling into the warm spot he’d left behind. 

She didn’t sleep long, and he her heard her rustling around before he could get a good fire going. He was sitting on a log, poking at his baby flames when she came out. She surprised him by sitting next to him, but he was glad. He already missed touching her, and that was going to be a big fucking problem.

“Hey,” he said.

Carter looked a lot less upset than he’d expected. She kicked at his foot. “Hey,” she said. “Sorry about last night,” She stared at the ground for a moment and then into his eyes. “And thanks. That’s not how I wanted--”

Jack interrupted her before she could say too much. Maybe she was still under the influence. “You weren’t yourself,” he said. 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Well-” she started and then changed her mind. “Was it just me?”

“I don’t think so. Daniel and Teal’c haven’t been back.” Jack wasn’t looking forward to that conversation. “I think I was the only one who kept my pants on last night.”

Carter’s cheeks turned pink, and she smacked his leg. “That’s not funny.”

She was right, it hadn’t been funny at all.

 

*****

 

Jack woke up from another fitful night threaded with Carter dreams. Dream-Carter was no stranger to him, but she’d been showing up a lot more often since real Carter had tried to seduce him. It had taken a full two months, but real Carter was finally starting to act normal around him. Dream-Carter was doing her best to make sure Jack had to struggle to do the same. 

He rolled out of bed and into the shower. His laundry was piling up so he grabbed yesterday’s BDU pants off the floor. They were clean enough for off-world duty. He pulled them on and they felt tight and uncomfortable. The clock on his nightstand beeped to let him know he had about five minutes to get his boots on and get his ass out the door. 

Creative driving and blatant disregard for the speed limit had him on base early enough to grab some toast in the mess hall. He was wiping crumbs off of his shirt when Carter and Daniel walked in. Teal’c must have been sleeping in.

Daniel looked at Jack’s sad plate of toast crumbs while Carter stood in line for something better. “No pie?”

“Nope. Trying to watch my girlish figure.” It was true, his pants had been feeling a little snug. But he also just wasn’t in the mood for pie. Just thinking about it made him nauseous. He started to wonder if he was sick or dying. No interest in pie was a serious symptom of something. He was sure of it.

“Are you okay, Jack?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I don’t know. You look a little… off.”

“I’m fine, Daniel. I just wanted toast for breakfast.”

Only he wasn’t fine. 

*******

The trip through the wormhole was the last straw for Jack’s stomach. He made it to the edge of the clearing before his toast came back to haunt him. He should have just had the pie.

Carter followed him into to the brush waving her concern like a flag. She handed him a canteen and steadied him with a hand on his back. “Sir? Are you okay?”

Jack was going to lie and say he was fine, but he really wasn’t. He shook his head instead because if he opened his mouth, he was going to start apologizing for putting that look on her face. 

She grabbed him by the elbow and slipped into command mode. Jack watched her give orders and realized she should have her own damn team by now. 

“Daniel, Teal’c, let’s go. We’re taking Colonel O’Neill back.”

****

Jack sat in the infirmary while Carter paced in the hall. He could hear her boots clunking back and forth outside the door. Clunk, clunk, clunk, turn. Over and over and why the hell didn’t she just come in?

“Carter?”

She stuck her head in. “Sir?”

“Just come in. You’re driving me nuts.”

“Sorry.”

Janet was right behind her, thermometer in hand and a large yellow file under her arm. She dropped the file on the stainless steel table at the end of the bed and stuck the thermometer in his mouth. “So,” she said. “Is there anything else going on?”

She took her thermometer back so he could answer. He rubbed his hand over his stomach.“I feel a little… swollen.” Or something. 

Janet pushed him back onto the bed and lifted up his shirt. She pressed all the special spots she’d learned about in medical school, asking him which ones were tender. “Huh,” she finally said, much to Jack’s dismay. She obviously had no idea what was wrong with him.

“Too much pie,” he whispered to Carter.

Fraiser frowned at both of them. “I don’t think so,” she said. The little switch inside her brain flipped, and she turned serious on him. “I’d like to do an ultrasound, Colonel.”

Carter had the good sense to looked concerned. 

*****

Janet chased everyone out of the room, and Jack was strangely relieved that his team wouldn’t be able to gawk at his intestines. And the hovering. It was too much for him. As much as he did it to them, he’d always hated when he was on the receiving end of the hovering and the inane chatter meant to cheer him up.

The gel was cold and more than a little disgusting. Jack made plans for a shower while Janet slid the probe around. He watched the screen like he knew what he was looking at, but it was all static as far as he could tell. Janet was no help, and Jack started to miss Carter. She would have kept up a running commentary for him. 

“Well, this is unexpected,” Janet finally said.

“What is?” 

“Honestly? It looks like a fetus.”

“Are you saying I’m pregnant?” Jack was still thinking about his shower and humored her little joke. Fraiser was like that sometimes, she liked to mess with him. 

She smiled at him and tossed him a towel. “I’m saying I’d like to run some more tests.”

 

****

It wasn’t a joke. 

He was alone again when Janet came back to update him on the results of the million-and-one tests she’d insisted on. Jack knew something was up when she closed the curtain around his bed. Wrapping them in a false sense of privacy.

“Well,” she said. “As far as I can tell, you’re having a baby of some sort.”

Of some sort? What the hell did that even mean? “That’s- What? I’m pretty sure I don’t have the right parts for that.” 

“It’s implanted in the symbiote pouch Hathor gave you.”

“But the sarcophagus fixed that.” He ran his hand over the area, double checking just to be on the safe side. It was a little poofy but still smooth and pouchless. 

“That’s what we thought.”

“We thought? You didn’t check?”

“Well, no.” Janet looked down at her shiny little shoes for a second. “We just assumed that it had been removed along with the opening in your abdomen.”

A baby. In his symbiote pouch. Like a fucking kangaroo. “Is it- Is it human?” 

Janet thought about that for too long. “It looks human,” she finally said. She shrugged her shoulders, and Jack suddenly wished he were talking to a doctor who hadn’t seen so much weird shit. A grown man with a fetus in his gut deserved more than a shoulder shrug. 

“We’re running a DNA test.” She said that like it was helpful. Like it mattered. Jack didn’t care about the DNA. He just wanted it gone and never, ever spoken of again. 

“Can’t you just take it out?”

“Yes, that’s an option,” she said. “I’m not even sure the symbiote pouch can continue to support it. I just want as much information as possible.”

 

****

He was still processing the news and still hadn’t had time to shower when his team ambushed him in his quarters. Janet had apparently saved him the trouble of having to explain to them what was going on. Teal’c looked more amused than Jack had ever seen, and Carter kept looking at his stomach like she expected the alien from Aliens to pop out.

“So,” said Daniel. “Having a baby. That’s new.”

“These things happen,” said Jack.

“Who’s the mother?”

Janet barged into the room before Jack could come up with a witty reply. She was clutching her clipboard and breathing like she’d sprinted all the way from the infirmary. “It’s Sam’s,” she announced.

Carter spun around and glared at Janet. “What do you mean, it’s mine?” Her tone was demanding and scary and Jack was glad it wasn’t directed at him.

“The DNA doesn’t lie. Through whatever alien conception methods you two got into, Colonel O’Neill is carrying a perfectly healthy human fetus.” She paused for a moment and tapped her clipboard. Jack knew exactly what was coming. “Is there anything you two want to tell me before I talk to General Hammond?”

“Like what?” What could he possibly say to explain this. 

“Like how this might have happened.”

Carter cut into the conversation. “That damn alien sex drink.”

“From 926?”

“Yes.”

Fraiser’s head moved back and forth between the two of them, trying to pluck her answers from their cryptic conversation. “Did you two-?” 

“No,” said Carter. “But something... weird... happened there. I had dreams about those moons for weeks.”

“Me too!”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“About my dreams? Why would I do that?”

Janet interrupted them. “So you two drank some sort of, what? Aphrodisiac?”

“Not me,” said Jack. “Carter.” He waved an accusatory finger at his team. “And Daniel and Teal’c.”

“It was more than just the drink,” said Carter. “There was something else. Something more going on.”

“Well,” said Janet. “Maybe you should have just had sex.”

They both turned on her. “What?”

Janet looked like she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “I mean, if it was part of the reproductive method used on that planet. You two might have messed it up by not doing things the right way.”

Carter’s eyes went wide and her ears turned pink. “So, if we had just-” she said.

Right, Jack thought. If they’d just done things the normal way. He’d never felt so cheated in his life. 

“Huh,” said Daniel. “I guess abstinence isn’t always the best policy.”

 

*****

“Can I have a moment alone with Carter.”

Carter looked horrified at the thought of being alone with him and Jack didn’t blame her one bit. There was nothing about this situation that wasn’t horrifying.

“Take as long as you need,” Fraiser said. 

“Oh, I don’t think we have that much time,” said Jack.

Janet took Daniel’s arm and pulled him out the door. Teal’c gave them a half bow before following. Jack closed the door behind them and tried to organize his thoughts. His stomach started to churn again. This was so not a conversation he wanted to be having. 

Carter ran out of patience before he was ready to speak. “Sir?”

And fuck, there was just no good way to say what he wanted to say. “Janet says she can remove it,” he said.

Carter still looked like she wanted to bolt. “That’s good. Right?”

Yes, that was good, but it wasn’t really the point. The point was-- “She doesn’t have to.”

“But-”

“I don’t want to get into details.” Because they were disturbing, and if he had to speak them out loud, he might change his mind. “I just thought you should know.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I-- Fraiser isn’t sure if the… pouch... can even grow a whole baby. So there’s that.” 

But It might. And then they’d have a baby. Their baby. He’d never expected to get a second shot at parenthood. And to get that chance with Carter? Well, there was no way he was going to throw that away if she was in any way on board with trying. 

“All I know for sure is that if somehow we get a baby out of this, I’m done here,” he said. He couldn’t do this job and raise a kid. Not again. He quit talking and left the ball in her court because everything that would follow depended on what she had to say.

“I think-- Shit, sir. I don’t know what I think. I mean, having a baby. That’s huge. And not something I was planning on any time soon. Or ever. But-” She walked away from him, working through the possibilities in private. She’d never been good at keeping her thoughts off her face. Jack watched her back until she stood up straighter and turned toward him. “This is sort of the best case scenario,” she said. “For me, anyway,” she added when she remembered that he was carrying a baby conceived god knows how in a pouch intended to incubate evil alien lifeforms. 

Her best case scenario. Jack let that roll around in his head for a minute. She was absolutely right about that, and it made his heart hurt for her. They were never going to not need her. She’d never get rid of the pressure to perform and to keep her life on hold. He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. “You do know it’s half mine, right?”

Her eyes dropped to his chest for a moment and she took a step closer to him. “I know,” she said. “Best case scenario, remember?” 

And really, Jack thought, it was at least half of his best case scenario.

**Author's Note:**

> This was icon prompt fic from holdouttrout.
> 
> One of the icons was 'abstinence doesn't work' and the other was 'please pass the brain bleach.'
> 
> So you can see how this led to badfic cliches. :P


End file.
